recent comments:

happy nude year	jmullan
untitled	whitewaffle
no, that's tora bora	whitewaffle
news flash	not kim
That sums up the night nicely.	jmullan

Christy (monster)

Name: Christy B
Email: christymonster@gmail.com
Locale: Sesame Street

Profile: I believe so strongly in mayonnaise.

Comments History

Darling, you've become positively optimistic!

The revolution will not be televised. Especially not if you're in the Middle East, North Africa, or parts of Asia and trying to watch it on youtube.

http://www.ilovebonnie.net/2008/02/12/the-submarine-cables-a-complete-guide-to-the-2008-internet-outage/

Um, you should probably read this article: http://articles.citypages.com/2008-01-16/feature/superheroes-in-real-life/

Also, happy birthday.

Amen, sister!

damn, j mullan, you really are a whore.

I made a joke about the token black guy at a party, and he was one of the housemates. I rule. His girlfriend suggested that we call him "token" for the rest of the party. I demurred.

Everyone should (and will) want a wii. I want a second one so I can play it at work.

Hey, sith, I have a wii! You could hang out with mii!

I'll help you with your waistline, baby.

Ooh, medium chain triglycerides are the fats in coconut oil! They're supposed to be very good for you. And your waistline.

Hey, there was an article about that disease in my this month's Psychology Today! The article was about how doctors misdiagnose CJD (creutzfelt-jacob disease) as Alzheimer's.

You never drunk dial me, sith, and you have MY digits.

Asshole! Also, Chicago totally didn't happen. I'm going to buy an apple, instead.

Hahaha, this post is funny. Also, Alison spells her name with just one 'l'. You're lucky she doesn't read this. The clash tattoo is also credited to my dad, who picked out the music notes from a live recording. Here's to perfect pitch!

Hm, that seems about right.

Mm, anal probe!

True! Also, as it turns out, that toast is also my friend Pete's gf's fave, too.

"To getting on 'er, to staying on 'er, and if you can't come in 'er, come on 'er." It should probably be yours*, too.

*to no one and everyone in particular.

That's so weird! When I was at Body Worlds on Saturday, a teenaged kid a few people up in the line from me passed out while we were looking at... Oh, I can't remember. Bones, maybe. SciMuseum security was right there, and helped the guy up, but he fainted again about 15 feet up. And don't be too hard on the guys with her, most guys do not know how to catch someone who falls without warning.

It does, thank you for letting me know!

Wait, did you run into him at your building? Because that doesn't count.

Oh, yeah, coincidences come in threes. That's what was bothering me.

For the record, I fully support the government program T&A.

(take that, FISA!)

I'm down.

Or, if you want to be all serious:

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Also, no tinfoil underpants!! Eww....

Alert the presses!

http://humorix.org/articles/2004/05/tinfoil/

I've got extra tin foil, if anyone wants...

Well, it's difficult to know how many of the suggestions he makes are valid, but I think it brings up some interesting questions.

I think the weirdest part of it was the Pentagon part, especially how the woman told about suits coming to talk to her. It might just be the FBI being idiots about it, but would you really trust the smoking man to tell you what happened on 9/11?

http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Retired_Supreme_Court_Justice_hits_attacks_0310.html

and: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5137581991288263801&q=loose+change+2nd+edition&pl=true

I got these from my long-time Republican friend, Ethan, who also said, "i just don't think real freedom does exist anymore in the way i thought it did or should."

From the NYTimes article about DeLay stepping down:

Mr. DeLay, a one-time pest exterminator, was elected to the Texas House of Representatives in 1978, where he helped ignite a Republican resurgence in long-Democratic Texas.

Hey, it happens.

This entry was HOTT.

However, someday I hope you will learn that "it's" means "it is" and is not possessive. You're making my english teacher grandpa cry. You don't wanna make my grandpa cry, do you?

I have about 7 mechanical geek ideas. I think I need to be on a payroll somewhere first, though.

Lucky for Bill, I get free long-distance on my cellphone:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7402316856

::whimper::

Where's my teddy bear?

Quarantine?

This is good stuff, Zach. Well done.

So THAT'S where the smell was coming from!

OMG!!! You have to see V for Vendetta. IMMEDIATELY.

ps. HAHA! I am all the recent comments!

New entry, please!

Damn! thwarted by the admin!

Well, perhaps if *I* had been given the starring role, it would have been better. :D

I still can't believe you didn't blog about the protest besides to complain about the lack of media coverage. So much more happened there than your readers know. You and me and everyone with a blog are the new media.

But think of all the amazing things that happened. Talking to Zimmerman and learning about the chicken foot (for those who weren't there: chicken foot is representative of the semaphore symbols for N and D, representing nuclear disarmament. isn't it funny how much more complicated protest symbols used to be?). Seeing the anti anti war protesters driving home as we were walking down Nicollet? You totally had a moment with them, where you each acknowledged each other as having just as much right to have your opinions as them. It reminded me of when you told that story about watching two people argue about politics (I'm short on the details, but maybe one of them was a New Yorker and one was from Boston?) and a few minutes later they were sharing pats and jokes, and you were encouraged by seeing two diametrically opposed people get along in this divisive national climate. There were also the crazy hobos (who doesn't like a crazy hobo story? you'd have to be made of STONE!) and the black guy who was like "The iraq war is bullshit. I feel you guys. It's bullshit!" (he was my favorite, for the record)

Also: two more comments and I will be all the recent comments!

Drr... Maybe I meant "troll". Personally, I like "flamer" better. Why aren't I lord-ess of the Internets?!

Look who's talking!

Look, Zach, you got a flamer! Does anyone else really appreciate the irony of the guy naming himself republican so that the field shows "not republican?"

It is SO WEIRD that you are making movies because I have been fantasizing about making an online news broadcast with my friend Joe Cusack as anchor (because he is Va-Voom Hott and our ratings would skyrocket, and also because he is just a few credits short of a journalism degree). I don't know if my news show can really compete with Rat-Faced Killa, though.

My dad said that the PiPress had a picture, but they said only 3000 people were there.

I beg to differ. I, for one, have much better teeth than almost everyone I've met here so far.

And, I'm not lonely anymore. This 18-year-old from Australia moved into my room at the hostel yesterday. She left her country for the first time only to discover that her best friend, with whom she was supposed to stay, became a cokehead over the past few months and didn't want to have anything to do with her. Now the girl needs to find a place to work and a place to live and is depressed and lonely and feeling abandoned. And you know how I like a project.

Yesterday we went to Camden town and a 40+ man with a mohawk complimented me on my shoes. He was also hawking Doc Martens (which my shoes were), but I think it still counts.

What are you talking about?

How is a double decker bus (right hand drive) even possible in Whittier? (also, I was telling my new scottish friends about whittier but the one guy heard "wittier" and it made me laugh. URL?)

Heh, I still haven't internalized how people drive on the left side of the road here, and I saw a bus going down the street last night and my first thought was, "Weird. Why is that bus going so fast in reverse?"

Also, Zach, your comment made me snort rather audibly in the internet cafe. Thanks a lot.

I am in London, but people here are snobby and I'm a bit homesick.

Good grief, I was such a raging bitch last week. Sorry about that, sith.

I just got an email from my friend Joe Cusack (or Johnny Z as sith insisted on calling him) saying that he's been volunteering for the Red Cross and is going down to NO. That made my day.

That's scary... I can't believe that stuff happened there. It totally sounds like Lord of the Flies.

Whee! I have internet!

Oh, that's heartbreaking. How terrifying it must have been for the people running through the crowd, fearing for their lives and the lives of their loved ones.

On the hurricane note: I read a really creepy blogpage with an ad that says, "I'm so tired of meeting liberals at the bar!" and the slogan of the dating service is "sweethearts, not bleeding hearts". The list of places to learn about the hurricane and how to help is pretty astounding, too. You can check it out at michellemalkin (dot) com. (I didn't type the URL because trackbacks scare me)

I can't seem to articulate why I think iPods are evil, they just are.

sith, if you go to the state fair tomorrow, you can see me there because I'm volunteering for the K. There's no way I'm going there another day, though.

My last dj shift was sad, but I also had fun. Bittersweet? I got a sweet poster from Meredith Bragg... I think I'll plan all the colors of my apartment from it.

I'm already sexy. And I don't like iPods. I don't care if they are made by Apple, I think they're a sign of the impending apocalypse.

When I realized my CDs were gone, the first thing I thought was, "This is Zach's fault somehow." And it so is. You're bad luck. Still, though, I don't want to admit how they got in. I gave a friend a ride and forgot to lock the door (my mind was totally somewhere else yesterday), which I've done probably dozens of times, so it was just by chance that it happened yesterday. I totally feel like an idiot for thinking that I was tired of all my musics and wanted new stuff, though.

sith is right; the smoking was just adding insult to injury. It still reeks in my car. Pout.

NO IPODS!! I'm not a yuppy yet.

and sith: My email address is in my xopl.com profile, and has been since March.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!

Well, that's one hell of a coincidence, because we were playing that song just as you were writing this entry. I can't take the credit, though, Peter picked it out.

Man, I was having a great day until I came back from the fair (where I was <i>volunteering</i>. Where is my good karma?) and discovered that some jackasses broke into my car, smoked cigarettes (gross, winstons) with the windows up and stole all my CDs.

I bought cleaning supplies at the store today.

Don't be silly, sith. Uptown (read: whittier) turns your brain into delicious cultured mush!

And, that Mates of State song tidbit was really good. And, I figured out yesterday's song, but .... Oh, I was about to say today's was too vague, but now I got it. Haha, you were listening to the K!

Jesus, can't you just email me or call me? I'm just annoyed that it happens on Zach's blog, you can speak to me directly. We could do lunch today, if you wanted.

You should have added, "Don't be jealous just because I've been chatting online with babes All Day."

The artist's name was Bateman, I think Kevin. The zebra was constructed from found objects: used sheet metal, hubcaps, and I think I even saw part of a lawn mower. I'm okay with stalking that couple to get an interview; I bet they'd be only a little uncomfortable.

Thanks again for helping me move. You're an angel.

Amazing. Just amazing.

........

........

........

Nope, still speechless.

Aw, Zach, always thinking of other people, you are.

Noooo, phreaking is too hard in this day and age. And no, sith, you weren't dreaming, I did actually call you at 2:30am. Aren't drunk dials awesome?

Also, awwww! Zach, look! sith missed you!

Oh, sith. My life is hardly boring enough for me to concern myself with making snarky comments about you or anyone else. And Zach doesn't even read it anymore, so he's out, too. Paranoia does not become you.

His name is Joe, and yes I'm hanging out with him. He says he really likes french toast, too, so maybe it'll all fall into place?

If I get an idea and I don't have the time or resources to blog about it, I make a note of it and write about it later. It's why I carry a notepad with me everywhere. And you did it, too, the night of the science theory slam.

Beyond that (and I know this is easier said than done), you should blog for yourself only. I know I nag you to update sometimes, but you needn't feel obligated to write just because your readers want you to. We tell you what we want, and then you figure out what you want. (sith will disagree)

Oh, and I disagree with xz. I think you should post nothing but <i>pussy</i> pictures until perspective returns. (haha, you thought I was mature!)

Sorry I had to cut you off when you called, sith. I usually don't have time to chat while I'm dj-ing. Thanks for listening, though.

About the same, you know. I checked out the hook while my dj revolved it.

First of all, my job will not be hipster at all. I will be pretending to be blue collar, yes, but it's completely different. And 2, there is a waiting list for sugar momma-ness from me, which I already told you. *snap* *snap* That's the kind of thing you gotta pay attention to if you're gonna apply (yes, there is a 13-page form which you fill out in triplicate and a 25$ application fee. yes, i've been spending too much time looking for an apartment).

Also, I think you should all read this: http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_belledejour-uk_archive.html#112412940982041111

(heh, dig the long url!)

So, sith, are you going to recount the events of the evening, or am I going to have to? We both know Zach won't get around to it until RSN. Although, it's been a week, so Zach's about due, right?

Damn, I'm sorry I missed it. Stupid commute.

Hehe, you totally were riding in the backseat of a cop car. That's hilarious!

Pout.

You have to make salsa and then give me SO MUCH of it, you mean.

You are?! That's awesome!

.....But I asked about Wednesday.

Don't rub it in, dude.

And if you aren't available on Monday, sith, how about wed (zach, too)? I have plans with my friend Rupa on Tuesday. And, what are we going to do? I call I don't have to decide.

Thanks for wishing him well. Josh (the other roommate, the one who left the window open) thought we should just break its neck since it was already injured. ::wide-eyed teary face::

And, hooray! Now I can finally make this joke again:

<sarcasm>That shirt looks so good on you.</sarcasm>

^^That wasn't directed at anyone, I just couldn't think of anything snarky to say. I'm like too happy today or something.

Hey sith, I finally saw the fascism note. That was pretty funny.

So, are we all hanging out on Monday or what?

Damn, I knew putting an arrow in would cut off my story like that, and I did it anyway. the parenthetical had an arrow pointing to the part in quotes and said, "direct quote"

Lots of people called with requests and happy thoughts for Kelsey's and my little birdy, so that was nice. I totally felt like it was a Peter Pan "I do believe in fairies!" kind of thing. I hope it was enough.... The poor guy's leg was hanging limply from one side and I could see a pretty deep gash from Enki's mouth.

Okay, A: you should link to the story about your Chirpy JR.

B:

My roommate's cat caught a bird today (i take back everything i ever said about him being too stupid to catch animals). There was a window open downstairs and a bird flew in, and my other roommate Kelsey came home to Enki (that's the cat) with the bird hanging out of his mouth.

Luckily for the bird, Enki IS too stupid to keep a bird in his mouth while "playing" with Kelsey. The bird flew away so it was caught between the lower pane of an open window and the upper pane, while the cats stood in the sill and batted at it.

Kelsey and I banished the cats to their owner's room, and then tried as best we could to get the bird out without injuring it further. At one point, it looked right at me and chirped very loudly, as if to say, "I clearly can't do this on my own, you'll have to help me out of here. Hey, watch the wings." It was the only time he chirped.

We closed the window all the way and the bird refused refuge in the small box I had ready, and flew up on top of the pantry shelves. I climbed up and tried to grab it, but it flew away again. Kelsey contributed a startled shriek and then watched me run around after it (i'm the man in this relationship).

It flew into the dining room (we have a rather large place), and was too exhausted to move anymore, so I picked it up and put it in the box.

Remembering that Zach had taken a wild bird somewhere, and knowing that I'd read his postcard update, but not remembering the name of the place, I phoned him, then emailed, then texted. Obsessive? Yes. But the poor little bird was in shock and it needed to be somewhere better than here quick. I kill cacti. Kelsey and I googled it and found the place just as Zach called back.

I drove us, and Kelsey yelled at me every time I took a curve too fast while cooing at the bird. "There you go, buddy.... We're gonna take you to the doctor and make you better! ...Aww, Christy, he looked at me! We have to give it a name." We couldn't agree on its gender (i thought male), so we didn't actually pick a name. Chirpy JR to the second power, while extremely lame, might be the best we got.

We brought it in and I gave too small a donation (hey, i'm not making corporate pay yet), and the woman thanked us for bringing it in and gave me a magnet for my trouble.

Then, while dj-ing today, I asked for lots of bird-themed requests, and even got suckered into playing Ween (i had some dude call me and say, "what IS this? this is f-in terrible!"

mm-hmm

You're welcome. You have a cute phone voice.

Aww... That's sweet. I'm only gonna be working here for another couple of weeks, and thanks for reminding me, by the way. I'll stick around until fall semester starts.

Sept. 19. Why? You want a sugar mamma, too? There's a waiting list, you know.

Wait, the one about the beef jerky? That was my friend Suzy.

I realize that. I was just saying that you can program your way around any number of mistakes but people like me are just gonna keep making new ones. I think that's why programmers hate doing customer service so much.

Goddamnit, I totally fucked that up. Oh, well. Hey Zach, looks like your hash-ness is no match for my human error.

What I wanted to say was "Thanks for calling me a hottie, you know, cause I am." But then I accidentally clicked the Windows Media button. Stupid PCs. And then when I hit the back button, I realized I meant to say more in my earlier message, so.

Welcome to Christy's thought process of the last 4 minutes. Hope you enjoyed your stay.

Oh, the CD toss was freaking me out so I ran away. I only saw Steve and Thomas, I didn't see you. If I'd seen you, I would have said hi.

Oh, the CD toss was freaking me out so I ran away. I only saw Steve and Thomas, I didn't see you.

Well, I'm oblivious to my surroundings sometime. Next time just hit me or something. I don't mean to be snobby. I was just having a melodramatic phone conversation with a girlfriend.

I gave up long ago on trying to get people to spell my name out. Yeah, I'm not really into toe-sucking, and it's not necessary, anyway. For future reference, though, C-dawg is perfectly acceptable. Then you don't have to worry yourself over how to spell my name in the first place.

I dunno when we'll hang out, maybe next week? Uhh... Sunday? This week is pretty much full already for me.

Hahahahaha, we should totally do it. Probably hijack all of the K, really. It can be the "we all graduated college and now we have our own specialty show" show 24-7!

OMG! That shirt is amazing.

Plus, I think I know a few people who might be interested in one or 10 of these shirts:

http://store.theworstpageintheuniverse.com/

Well, sith, if our online chemistry is any indication.....

I told A-bomb that I'd sub for the MLC guys if they can't do a show one weekend. I'll let you know when that happens and maybe you'll join me again. Oh, yeah, and I'm awesome, but I'll explain why later. Although you should already know that.

Call me a wuss again and see what happens, Zach, I dare ya.

I think the waitress was hotter than Uma, personally. Uma's face looks a little funny, but waitress-girl didn't have the asymmetry so her face looks more pleasant. And she had more junk in the trunk, which I approve of. I kept accidentally staring at her boobs... What am I, a 14-year-old boy?

A blog entry search feature would be nice. And 74, you fell prey to a similar folly as me. Beware the POSTDATA warning!

And OR0SL, ALL ABOUT HANSON. Zach showed me his shrine once.

It's too bad you didn't offer to be one of his elves, or something. It would be awesome to get the inside scoop, and it would be really funny for Santa to have a 6'+ elf. Someone should make a movie about that. (insert innocent smile here)

I think that might make you sick.

Epic metal makes me giggle: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=420

Oh, mine was the error of hitting refresh instead of going back to xopl.com.

Heheheheheh! I double posted. Here's another one.

Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said, "this butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter, that will make my batter better!"

You left out how you provided the background music.

Doo! Doo! Doo!

You left out how you provided the background music.

Doo! Doo! Doo!

Eh, you're all nuts.

RIGHT! I *knew* there was something in the way you had capitalized Crass. Still an absolutely dirty trick, though.

I haven't the slightest idea what you just said, but you're welcome. :)

If you're nervous about talking to a girl, play it off by asking her questions about herself. Most girls prefer a boy who will listen to a boy who can talk, and that way you can hedge your bets a bit and find out if she's someone who would interest you before you have to try to interest her in you.

That said, the first thing you should say to a girl you want to talk to is this: "Hi, I'm sith, what's your name?" and not "this is my first time", etc (most online forums will teach you that n00bs are not treated very nicely, especially those who announce it in an effort to win pity) If she's nice, then continue with finding out about her. If she's not very receptive, wish her a good day and exit at your earliest opportunity. Don't blame yourself; she might have a boyfriend, she might be having a bad day, or she might just be a little nervous about talking to a strange boy. And even if she is abrasive because she doesn't want to talk to you, the next girl might really want to talk to you, and you'll sabotage yourself by dwelling on what you may or may not have done wrong. Oh, and just because she's nice doesn't mean she's interested, find out common interests before trying to get a number. I know it sounds complicated, but it gets easier. Sorry I don't know of some magic fairy dust or a special cologne.

And also, don't get down if you don't get a date the first, or even the fifth, time. Salesmen only make their sales 5% of the time, and it's a little crass, but that's a lot of male-female interaction: selling yourself. And the ones who win every time aren't the kind of guy you want to be, anyway.

This has been the christymonster's tutorial on how to meet women.

Hm. The guess in my head was 49.34. sith beat me.

I went to the zoo today. There weren't any coatis, but Alison (cruella de ville) did flirt with a monkey. At the end of the tropics area, we walked through a curtain of bamboos, and I announced, "we're being bamboozled!" Sarah pointed and laughed.

goddamn, are there golden dollars in there?

I guess $25.32.

Oh, you're no fun. Clearly Jason picked this entry because it was xopl.com's best.

Best. Comment. Ever.

I knew you'd see it my way!

yeah, i found it. just forgot to post and say so. thanks, though.

link?

And, I find that very hard to believe.

Oh, and sith, I meant to say, "Well, I just didn't want to make you drive me all over town..." But then I remembered that you work where I work, so it wouldn't have been a very good excuse. But, sith, one e-makeout and you're proposing moving in together? This is all moving too fast for me!

Zach, you should write an entry so I'm not forced to blog for you.

The road under the railroad bridge by my house was totally washed out in the rain today. There was a car that was stuck right in the deepest part; the water was 3 inches above the line of the door. It was the first time I'd ever seen that here, maybe anywhere.

I considered trying to get my minivan through the shallower part of it to turn onto my street, but seeing the family standing in halfway-up-the-shin water dissuaded me. YAY FLASH FLOOD!

Thanks sith. Don't worry, I'll never go away forever. What would you do without me? You'd be bored silly, that's what!

Oh, and thanks for the couch offer (although isn't it really a loveseat??), but I'll be fine, surely, as long as I don't ever drive down that street again. Sucks, though, it's my favorite way to get to the gross-ery store.

Oh, and St Paul's probably too far for my vinnie-man's ailing transmission. That sentence sounds funnier than I meant it to be.

I have a real problem with writing off-topic things, but I wanted to announce that I was an eyewitness to gang violence just blocks away from my house today. The getaway SUV chased after me for several blocks to intimidate me out of calling the authorities.

On an unrelated note, is anyone in Minneapolis looking for a roommate, oh, tomorrow?

sith, you ruined my comment.

It was going to be: YES.

And, yes, all these women are made up. Despite your having met me, you figured him out. I am a figment of Zach's imagination.

Hey, didn't you go tubing this weekend, or something? You don't work on Sundays, fool, update your blog!

Zach, I like your mom.

Buh?

HOTT. I dunno if I can make it. I think I'm hanging out with my big brother because he's leaving for the weekend and he's been attached at his gf's hip lately. Another time, though, for sure. We can all go out for happy hour drinks and sith can drink ....root beer?

Damnit, I meant food coma. FOOD COMA.

Pinschers are not an acceptable dog to keep as a pet. Unless you're Paris Hilton, because you've already done far worse things than have one of those annoying dogs.

Sorry sith, I got him first. He was sleep coma-ed from the mediocre pizza.

And Zach: you suck. I would come up with a better insult, but I have sleep coma, too. I think Kelsey and I are going to Townhall for beers (soft s). Sucka. (workin for the man every night and day)

Maybe he was just moved to pity you because you were really bleeding and he thought you were cute. Or, maybe people come in all the time asking for bandaids because they're a whole 4 dollars for 20 of them and they steal them from retail stores every chance they get.

Jesus! You are up EARLY!

sith: whatever, you totally just ordered two of those shirts. One for when the first one wears out from you wearing it too much.

sith, you're just jealous because you're not a 133+ h4xx0r. You should talk to my old heat transfer/fluid flow prof who went on a rant about how the letter "t" is disappearing from our alphabet because of the way we pronounce words like mountain.

Conversely, I don't get the appeal of the unicorn shirt.

Oh, and Zach, just because you've managed to foster serious discussion in your comments doesn't mean you can't still blog. Maybe you can blog about your comments? That would be like the lamest blog ever.

When are you going to make a discussion board?

sith, do I have a shirt for you!!

http://www.questionablecontent.net/merch.php#teh

I should also say that I'm speaking as a girl who dated an older man at the age of 19 (he was 29). He enjoyed my youthful spirit for a while, then ditched me when I wasn't mature enough for him. It hurt to be regarded disdainfully as immature even though I was only immature in reference to him (and that's arguable, besides), not to myself. That's perspective I didn't have at that age.

All that said, xz is right. Youthfulness is appealing, and 23 is still too young to be so serious about all this. If age is all that's stopping you, go for it.

pamelaNeko: that was gross, but I still laughed.

Sigh... Talking down to the ladies just makes the ones who aren't worth it love you. However, having a sense of self-worth is appealing to the girls who would rather not deal with insecurity bullshit, etc etc. You don't have to be an asshole to show you like who you are as a person.

sith, might i suggest crying into your beer? oh, wait. also, take a tip from my creepy roommate: you have to project confidence if you want the honeys.

On the age difference thing, I know it's kind of a different thing for girls, but I can tell the maturity difference in boys who are even only a year younger. It's certainly possible to meet someone who is very mature for their age; it is also quite rare. And as a girl who was once 19, there is a HUGE difference between 19 and 23. And there's a big difference between those who are in school and those who are graduated. It's a good idea to be open-minded, but I think the hesitation is warranted.

Isn't Y Tu Mamá También Mexico? You mean, just for the Spanish? Have her call me!

Aw, baby, you ain't gotta lie!

Well, sith, I will be an undergrad for only another 5 weeks, so your offer is wasted on me.

I think the important part about Zach's pseudo-man-whorism is that while he appears to check out every girl who walks past him, he rarely talks to any of them. Only dumb girls think their boyfriend doesn't look.

I always regret it if I wake up before my alarm and sleep through it anyway, too. The hospital stuff was interesting. I've only been twice (once to visit a friend), and I definitely didn't do anything exciting. When I was an MRI labrat, though, the researchers regularly told me that I was really good at staying very, very still. I want to put that on my resume.

I despise Sterb's, but if I go there, I either drink PBR or Shiner Bock. Kelsey doesn't like SB very much.

I don't know what Ookie Cookie is.

I laughed at "convenience me". I had to read it three times.

You should blog more so my comments don't need a link that says "Read the rest of this comment."

I wunna ride in the Mini!

You could see a capybara, maybe, if you went to the Amazon. They were my favorite animal because I liked the name, and then I saw them on a nature show and discovered that they're just like guinea pigs, only the size of a pig. I saw one get eaten from the inside out by piranhas. HAT! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capybara

There were lots of parrots at the Pride festival this weekend. No girls who looked like a darker version of Kirsten Dunst, though.

PS. That plot line with the man and amnesiac son bugged the hell out of me, always. I liked FFIII (or 6, depending on your nation of preference/level of geekdom) because you could resolve every one of those, and there were at least 3.

Hahahahaha! Sherpas!! That's awesome. I used to be friends with a girl who was a little trailer-trashy and they had one of those TVs. They used to have parties for football games.

I remember that episode, but I won't share what I'd wish for because you'd break it by saying how she'd fuck it up.

Also, I never took it as how the genie tried to fuck shit up for the sake of fucking it up. I figured she was telling the wisher that sometimes when you wish for something, what you end up getting is counter to what you want on the most basic level.

I got 8/10, too. I think I've played something like that before. Except I think I got 3/10 that time.

haha! you are now my bitch.

Friday maybe. But didn't I say you couldn't ask me to lunch here?

Zach: shutupshutupshutup. Or, go fuck yourself (you can insert your own inflection)

Oh, and sith, xopl.com is not an acceptable place to invite me to lunch, but I will be in your neck of the woods (same place i was yesterday) 11:30-12:30.

Umm... Grade school?

Just kidding, I'm pretty sure it was while I was in California. Theresa and I used to hang out with these terrible guys, and they'd do that toast all sleazy-like.

It was a little demeaning and definitely gross, but the toast was clever and it made me laugh HARD every time. I wanted to remember it, but by the time they pulled it out, I was usually too drunk to remember my own name.

the one that ends "come on 'er?" that one's my favorite, too. i never remember the whole thing, though.

^^not sarcasm

Hum... I don't think THAT'S it... I was wearing a vintage bowling shirt. Oh, and thanks for defending my honor, Zach.

What the fuck is going on here?

sith, you're the second guy to tell me to take him out for food today. What gives?

Cutest xopl.com entry ever.

...and then sith made the storm go away. I am still disappointed.

Oh, come on, it'll have character!

ps. sith: Buh?

Oh, and thanks again for the beer. :)

Zach: well, I *guess* I won't nag you about Chicago, then.

Ikea's couches are shit. You should get a couch from a furniture place in N mpls. They're cheap, and you get the extra thrill of possibly getting caught in a drive-by.

zach: you should blog it fast. But you should do other stuff first. So, do all of it fast.

sith: are you asking me over?

Now, that's what I'm talkin' about.

I agree. Isn't it about time you gave xopl.com a little TLC, Zach?

Hey, beggars can't be choosers, dude.

(says christy a day late)

Okay, my bruvva (c. Zach) just confirmed: it is startup.com.

You forgot the part when you rather loudly asked me if that man over there was singing, when it was a girl.

The movie may well have been startup.com. Does it have a really good-looking middle-eastern dude and a diminuitive jewish looking guy teaming up?

The Shania Twain song was "Any Man of Mine." (insert evil laughter here)

The can't-stop-laughing bit was surely due, in part, to how I kept trying to say, "right, so, this dot-com documentary" 4 or 5 times. And the fact that it was really funny that you couldn't stop laughing.

zach: Hey, better late than never, right?

sith: good to know. ;)

Weird. It sucks that you are teh poor. You should drive me and Zach around in your mini. How's that?

zach: You're welcome. Happy to help.

sith: we should. make plans.

Hope you got back okay.... :)

Quite right. TruBlogger, it is.

You're afraid of spiders? But they eat mosquitos!

Well, I told him not to play with her so close to the edge of that cliff. It's his own fault, really. There weren't any guardrails or anything.

Zach, you have finally entered the realm of True Blogger®. Incidentally, the line I found funniest was "even though you don't normally deserve it."

Unfortunately, no.

I also thought about this joke my dad used to tell when this guy would pray every day to win the lottery, and finally he decided that god didn't love him so he said some jerky thing, and god replied, "Well, you gotta buy a lottery ticket!"

I didn't buy a lottery ticket, either.

I read somewhere that kids with unusually spelled names are more likely to have low self-esteem.

I love to think about parallel universes. (i was talking to kehla about slackers the other day, and she said the first part is like you're describing. is that the one?)

I love to think about time travel paradoxes. (paradoci?)

PS. I drove past a powerball billboard today and had almost the exact same sequence of thoughts. I didn't decide to mock my "poor bastard copy", though.

Damn, I missed it.

In response to your query, sith, were you looking on craigslist for me? And, no, this one is probably more my style:

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/w4m/76088517.html

(or... maybe not)

But I'm only turning the corner to "whoring myself on craigslist.com", I haven't arrived there yet.

That conversation rules.

Oops, I meant to say, "HOTT."

Hey, can't argue with numerology.

(um..)

Trips to London are what credit cards were MADE for.... Take a tip from sith, huh?

http://www.startribune.com/stories/389/5411134.html

This might not be a good time to bring this up, but I think I'm going to London in August. Wanna come?

sith: Oh, see, cuz I thought....

zach: http://www.donotupload.com/index.php?cid=11

Oh, poor sith. I know better than to take anything you say (at least here) seriously. Besides, it was all worth it to see you squirming in recollection of all the comments you've made to me since January.

"What I'm saying is, I'd like you to get drunk and make out with me." Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh, I'm being cruel. I introduced myself because I figured giggling at you for no apparent reason through the duration of the elevator ride would be more cruel. Perhaps I should have laughed on the inside, though, because now you've been outed as (gasp!) a human being with (gasp! gasp!) feelings. How will you live with yourself?

In short, think nothing of it. Contract killers are hard to come by anyway these days. Nobody can compete with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Hush up, sith.

I have lots of memories that I like to keep close to me, too, but eventually I find that I want to share them. And then I can't remember them as well, so I usually end up wishing that I'd written them down, even if not in a public place such as this one.

The birds were chirping as I wrote that. I could say the same to you.

Wow... It's a good thing you finally got your thyroid tested. Can they make it better, or is this something you'll deal with your whole life?

Gosh, that's so sad and scary. It's so weird to me that someone would think getting kicked out of a bar was worth killing over.

Insert joke about how you managed to graduate college here.

Did you play with a controller or did you just use your keyboard? Did you ever play the other ones? FF3 (USA) is my favorite, but FF2 (USA for SNES) is usually given as the best of the series.

Wow, I didn't know you ever played Final Fantasy... Or did I?

Hahahaha... Join the club!

Hehe... I bet that would work, sith. Can you cook? Oh, wait, you don't like booze. Never mind.

Zach: by soon, do you mean in the next year? :)

*ahem* newyork.xopl.com *ahem*

Also: you're killing me.

Ick. Sorry about your thyroid. Hope it turns out okay.

Heh.. I wondered how long it would take you to implement that (even faster than I thought you would). Thanks for crediting me, too, btw.

Well, not you specifically, obviously. Substitute all (but the first) instances of "you" with "one". (smartass)

My point was: maybe deja vu is an indication that the person is good for you, not because there is some big cosmic importance in the relationship, but because that person makes you forget about the transience and hardships that life is about most of the time, or less cynically, they remind you how great life can be, even if it only happens sometimes.

I always forgot to tell you this:

I read a few months ago that when you have deja vu, it's because you're living completely in the present, instead of worrying about the past or the future.

Ohhh... I remember now. Nate was more forthcoming with the details than you. In your defense, I should have remembered.

Hahahahahahahaha...

No, I'm not a hippie. I'm an engineer, come on!

It's funny how your perception of a movie can change in 10 years. I liked it, although I did have help ;)

Man, that's so weird that you ran into Nate. When I got there, I thought to myself that I was sure to run into one of you.

Goddamn, you discussed MY hatred for Dave Matthews? Am I forgetting conversations again? I certainly do hate Dave Matthews, but I definitely don't remember talking about it with either of you.

Hahahahaha! I can't believe I was so close (I transposed it) the first time I tried to figure it out, and took 3 weeks instead.

Oh, if you were there, I was in the group with the guy who was cheering and laughing and singing along through the entire movie. Stupid roommates and their stupid friends.

Hmm.... I ended up there, too, but I didn't see you.

Not dead, just busy.

I got 67 my... uh... 5th try?, but it took me two tries just to figure out what was going on.

Zach, I need a decoder ring for ALL of your comments, not just the ones that are written in 0s and 1s.

I've had a similar issue. It was while I was using UNIX machines more often than I do now, and I could just do CTRL+C to change the case. But in Microsoft world, that command is "copy."

But, now that you've brought it up, I've discovered that I can make Microsoft do Title caps for me, which has always been the bane of my lazy fingers' existence. Also, hyphenation.

I enjoyed the line, "assrapingly stupid" by the way.

Buh. My computer hates me. And, it's not even meant for me!

atencion: cinco uno cinco uno

?

Whew! Now I can rest again.

I love Love LOVE those paintings.

HA! It's true!

That was all in your head. I love me some Burger King. All the better if I don't have to drive myself to get it. Now that's what I call "Have it your way."

Hey! I wanna be an underemployed college graduate!

I won't know what you mean for another week or two, when we cover that in diffEQ. I bet ignorance is bliss in this case, though.

Ohhh..... I'm jealous. I wanna drive it, too!!

It's beautiful. I'm glad it worked out.

Also, tori is the proper plural of torus, but only an english professor, a know-it-all mathematician, or a latin scholar would correct you on it.

Note: I am none of the above.

"Wow, you got like 3 feet of air that time."

I can't believe you got ice burn, Zach. That's terrible! My own flesh made a full recovery. My muscles are pissed as hell at me today, though.

Respiratory droplets... that's disgusting. Pneumonic plague, though, is neat. When I was younger, I used to be obsessed with this show called "University Hospital" and they had an episode where some dude flew in from Bombay and he had The Plague, which caused high drama as all the student doctors had to be quarantined inside the hospital and then, inexplicably, the power went out. After studying bubonic/pneumonic plague, though, I found out that they'd gotten their plagues mixed up, as the infected showed symptoms of both. Shouldn't expect too much from a UPN show, anyway.

I laughed SO hard at your shameless bragging about how much you hate Hanson, and also at your second hypothetical interview question. I will make pies.

I had a dream that my roommates and I accidentally had a party. That is, we all invited 6 people over the same night, and everyone ended up just hanging out. And then an hour later, everyone else left at the exact same time. Yours is scarier.

Oh, and I didn't go to the impound lot with Zach, because he would have found it if I had (I've never been towed, I just have a good sense of direction). I went with my roommate who left the house 10 minutes later than me that day and watched the tow truck disappear around the corner with her car on the back.

I didn't see any drug dealers OR any hoods. Well, there were a couple, but they were on their best behaviour and didn't try to budge.

There was a little black kid behind us in line with his mother, and every couple of minutes he would start to tell a story that made him laugh so hard he couldn't tell the story to anyone else.

Right behind him was a mom (with her fake-tanned, highlighted hair daughter) who just HAD to be from Edina, and she complained about the whole process through the entirety of the line. At the end, she told the little boy to be good to his momma AND to get good grades in school.

I guess you were right about the number 3, huh?

Best brinner ever!

Also, that's nearly 7 hours of laundry! What was he doing, laundry for the whole block? Maybe you could have gotten in on it.

Zing!

Aww... Thank you. You're far too kind. :)

Heh... line-caught dolphin.

Awesome!

It's even better than I'd imagined it!!

Nothing really, but I found the phrase "delicious kick back" to be high comedy. Couldn't tell you why.

HAH!

Wait a minute... Whose taco stand?

Gross!

Why? Is there ice cream in your freezer? I LOVE ice cream!

Hm, what's this?

Oh, for the love of god!!!

(secret and preferred path to take it: "Ooh, beef cutlets! Let's make this for dinner tonight!")

hahahahahhahahahaahhhaha! +1 sith!

Oh, that's a whole lotta evil. I agree with sith. Pictures!!

sith: -1 offtopic.

We're talking about killing hookers and small-claims court. Get with the picture!

Um, no, I've been saying smoove for a long time (I think I got it from a movie... I can't remember which one it was). I hope we can agree to share the word; I would hate to have to tear you to shreds in court. Somehow, I don't think you'd be nearly as cute after being schooled by Judge Judy.

Awww... Zach, you never told me that sith was such a smoove talker!

Also, I'm bitter because sith is funnier than me. Although I suppose berating isn't ever as funny as hooker murder.

Ummm.... When you have a revelation like that, shouldn't you go into painstaking detail about what the hell you're talking about? Vague-ass bastard!

My dad really likes coupons. One time, I bought him a whole coupon organizer for Christmas, and he lost it before putting a single coupon in it.

Wow.. I really want to make fun of your overly alliterative entry title, but it's pretty damn accurate. Plus: wikipedia rules!

Sigh... You're going to be so disappointed in me, Zach. I never ever ever use the closing p tag.

And, look, sith33 lives! Also: who you calling aggressive??? You ain't seen nothin'!

Oh, please oh please let the documentary be about your hoes!!!

I do *not* live in the ghetto! Zach's apt is nicer than mine, though, for the most part. My shower rules, however.

pamelaNeko, you are my hero.

I am so happy to have been nicknamed after a woman who is one bad mamma jamma!

And, it's weird that you call me Christy love. My old boss used to do that. I guess there was some show from the seventies with a detective or something named Christy Love.

And don't you call me Euro-trash, sith33! I know where you live!

Hmm... I did notice a lack of capital lettered titles, but didn't realize it was a hard, fast rule.

I don't think I actually sprained my ankle. I just share Zach's penchant for exaggeration

Wow, Zach, that's one amazing writer. You should probably hire that girl, or something.

Snow rules! I drove to MOA to see a movie, and then when we got there, we found out that the late movies had been cancelled because of the weather. Then we spun out on the ramp to North 77. I don't think I would have survived the trip if there had been any more than 5 cars on the road all night. Bumper cars are the coolest. The Aunt Jemima story made me laugh.

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